Leadership Lens: Emotional Intelligence is your superpower

Emotional Intelligence is not optional. This skill is essential for all leaders because it enables them to foster trust, empathy, and effective communication within their teams. Leaders with high Emotional Intelligence can navigate complex interpersonal dynamics, inspire and motivate their people, and create a resilient, high-performing culture.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

EI is the ability to recognise and manage one’s own and others’ emotions and behaviours. It involves self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. Leaders with high EI can handle stress, make good decisions under pressure, and handle problems with empathy and serenity. Emotional Intelligence helps leaders to respond rather than react in any given situation.

Applying Emotional Intelligence is a little bit like a gardener looking after an estate. The gardener understands what each plant, tree and flower needs to thrive and applies this accordingly, no matter the weather or season.

Dan Goleman’s 1995 book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.” is a landmark in emotional intelligence research. Goleman discusses emotional intelligence (EI) and contends that it is more important than IQ for success in life in this breakthrough study.

Goleman defines emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions as well as to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others. He outlines five main components of emotional intelligence:

Goleman’s 4 Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness: The ability to know one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and goals and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions.

Self-regulation: Involves controlling or redirecting one’s disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

Empathy: Tuning into people and considering other people’s feelings especially when making decisions.

Social skills: Managing relationships to move people in the desired direction.

According to Goleman’s studies, the best leaders all have strong emotional intelligence. He believes that leadership requires brains, tenacity, determination, and vision, but not without emotional intelligence. Goleman’s work has transformed leadership research and shaped leadership programmes and coaching strategies that improve emotional intelligence in all leaders.

“Emotional intelligence is what you finally realise it’s not all about you.” – Peter Stark

I had a manager in the hospitality industry years ago who could manage and lead just about anyone, from the most junior waiter to the CEO. He responded quite differently depending on the individual’s behaviour traits. I was fascinated by how he seamlessly adapted and influenced people around him. He said to me: ‘Jess, I simply meet people where they are. That doesn’t mean I don’t hold them accountable for their performance, but I do it in ‘their way’.

How to apply Emotional Intelligence:

Pause and Assess:

Before reacting to any situation, take a moment to pause. This brief moment allows you to assess your feelings and the context of the situation. It’s about creating a space between stimulus and response, where you can consider your emotions and how they might be influencing your perception of what’s happening. This step is crucial for preventing knee-jerk reactions that you might regret later.

Identify Your Emotions:

Put a name to what you’re feeling. Whether it’s frustration, anger, disappointment, or something else, recognising and labelling your emotions helps to diffuse their intensity. It also increases self-awareness, which is a key component of emotional intelligence. This step can be as simple as silently saying to yourself, “I’m feeling frustrated right now,” or, “I’m worried about how this might turn out.”

Consider the Other Person’s Perspective:

Try to understand where the other person is coming from. What might they be feeling or thinking? Empathy is a powerful tool in emotional intelligence that allows you to see beyond your own viewpoint and consider the feelings and motivations of others. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but understanding their perspective can help you respond more effectively and maintain better relationships.

Choose Your Response:

With a clear understanding of your own emotions and an empathetic consideration of others, you’re in a better position to choose how you respond. Ask yourself, “What outcome do I want from this interaction?” Your response should align with your goals for the interaction, whether that’s to resolve a conflict, communicate a point more clearly, or maintain a positive relationship. This step involves considering the impact of your words and actions before you commit to them.

Communicate Effectively:

Use “I” statements to express your feelings without assigning blame, such as “I feel” or “I think,” rather than “You always” or “You never.” This approach reduces defensiveness and opens up the conversation for more constructive dialogue. Also, listen actively to the other person’s response, showing that you value their perspective. Effective communication is not just about talking; it’s also about listening, understanding, and then responding in a way that is respectful and considered.

Implementing these steps requires practice and mindfulness. Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process, and using these strategies in the moment can help you navigate complex emotional landscapes more effectively, leading to better outcomes both personally and professionally.

Our leadership workshops and cultural transformation programs often include developing emotional intelligence skills. It’s possibly one of the top 3 skills that organisations want their leaders to adopt.

About the Author

Jessica Schubert

Cultural Transformation & Leadership Expert

Teams, individuals and organisations face different challenges. My mission is to listen, understand and tailor learning solutions that fit your cultural and organisational goals. My steps to transform people, culture and businesses:

Conversation

Listen and understand your challenges

Consult

Suggest tailored learning solutions

Co-create

Include leaders in the design process

Coach

Deliver, facilitate and coach

Consider

Feedback and go back to conversation

With over 25 years of corporate experience and leading large teams across Europe and Asia Pacific, I understand all facets of leadership. I leverage my experience of dealing with power dynamics and organisational complexities and blend it with proven leadership models, coaching theories and adult learning principles.