Think back to the best leader you’ve ever worked with. Chances are, they weren’t just great at strategy or execution—they were exceptional at building relationships and having meaningful conversations.
Leadership isn’t just about setting a vision, hitting targets, or driving results. At its core, it’s about people. And people thrive when they feel valued, heard, and connected. This is why the quality of relationships leaders build—with their direct reports, peers, and stakeholders—directly impacts engagement, trust, and performance.
The Power of Relationships and Conversations in Leadership
But relationships alone aren’t enough. It’s what happens within them that matters. Conversations are the currency of leadership. Every check-in, feedback session, and casual hallway chat either strengthens or weakens trust. The way leaders listen, ask questions, and create space for open dialogue sets the tone for their teams and, ultimately, the culture of the organisation.
Quality Relationships, Effective Conversations and Shared Leadership
Leadership isn’t just about authority but about the quality of interactions within a team. A 2002 study by Pearce and Sims in the Journal of Applied Psychology examined leadership in 71 change management teams. They compared vertical leadership (from a formal leader) with shared leadership (distributed among team members). The results showed that while both styles positively impacted team effectiveness, shared leadership was the stronger predictor of success.
High-Performing Teams:
When relationships, conversations, and shared leadership work together, teams thrive.
So, how do we move from surface-level interactions to relationships that drive real impact?
It’s one thing to understand that relationships and conversations are the foundation of great leadership—it’s another to put that into daily practice.
Here are three actionable steps leaders can take to move beyond surface-level interactions and build trust, clarity, and real impact.
1. Listen Like You Mean It
Most leaders think they listen well. In reality, many are just waiting for their turn to speak. Active listening is a game-changer—it’s about being fully present, asking thoughtful follow-up questions, and making the other person feel truly heard.
Try This:
🔸In your next conversation, resist the urge to interrupt or jump in with a solution. Instead, ask, “Tell me more about that.”
🔸Use silence as a tool—sometimes, people open up more when you give them space.
🔸Reflect back what you heard: “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated with X. Did I get that right?”
When people feel heard, they open up, trust deepens, and conversations become more meaningful.
“The business of business is relationships; the business of life is human connection.” – Robin Sharma
2. Shift from ‘Checking In’ to ‘Tuning In’
Many leaders default to transactional conversations—”How’s the project going?” “Where are we on the deadline?”—rather than relational ones that strengthen trust and motivation.
Try This:
🔸 In 1:1s, ask “What’s been energising you lately?” or “What’s one challenge I can help with?”
🔸 Instead of just performance updates, check in on emotions and mindset—this builds psychological safety.
🔸Acknowledge and appreciate effort, not just outcomes—this reinforces connection and engagement.
Leaders who make conversations about the person, not just the task create teams that are more motivated, resilient, and committed.
3. Make Feedback a Two-Way Street
Great conversations aren’t just about leaders giving feedback; they’re about creating a culture where feedback flows both ways.
Try This:
🔸 Instead of just giving feedback, ask for it: “What’s one thing I could do differently to support you better?”
🔸 Normalise real-time micro-feedback—quick, informal insights that help people adjust and improve in the moment.
🔸 Praise specifically and frequently—”You handled that client concern with such patience and clarity” is far more effective than a vague “Great job!”
The more open and reciprocal feedback becomes, the more trust and alignment grow.
Great Leaders Don’t Just Talk—They Connect.
When leaders prioritise building relationships and having high-quality conversations, the teams they lead don’t just perform well—they thrive.
Get in touch if you want to explore how we can support your leaders: jessica@intactteams.com
