Coaching is powerful, but it is not always the answer. Not every situation calls for a coaching approach. The real leadership skill is knowing when to coach, mentor, teach, or when to direct and when to simply get out of the way.
The problem with coaching everything
“Coaching is the secret sauce of great leadership!” At least, that’s what many leadership programs preach. And they’re not entirely wrong. Coaching is powerful. It helps unlock potential, encourages problem-solving and builds stronger teams. So, naturally, organisations are investing heavily in training managers as coaches. Sounds like a win-win, right?
Well… not always.
The problem? Leaders are being told to “always coach”, but that’s a myth. Coaching works beautifully when used at the right time, with the right people. If you try to coach someone who has zero experience with a task, you’re setting them up to fail. Imagine a junior team member staring blankly at you while you ask, “What do you think the best approach is?” and they’re thinking, “I have no idea. I have never done this before. That’s why I need your help!”
On the flip side, what about a seasoned expert who just needs you to get out of their way? If you start micro-coaching them on things they already know, they’ll feel patronised and disengaged.
This is why leaders need to know when to coach and when not to. The key lies in ‘Skill and Will’. If someone is highly skilled and motivated, coaching can stretch them to new levels. But if they’re unskilled or lacking confidence, they need something else: training, direction, motivation or clarity.
Too many leaders use coaching as a one-size-fits-all approach. The best leaders switch roles. They coach when it’s right, train when it’s needed and lead with clarity when the situation calls for it.
Don’t use a screwdriver to hammer a nail
Think of leadership like a toolbox. Coaching could be like a screwdriver, pulling one’s thoughts and potential. It’s powerful for the right task but ineffective if you’re trying to hammer in a nail. If you use the wrong tool at the wrong time, you’ll waste energy and get poor results.
When questions are not enough
A few years ago, I was coaching Chris, a seasoned team leader working for a national retailer. He prided himself on being a coaching-style manager. He believed in asking great questions and empowering people to find their own answers.
When a new hire, James, joined his team, Chris used the same approach. But James was struggling. He didn’t yet have the skills to complete the work confidently, and the more Chris coached, the more frustrated James became. Questions like, “What do you think you should do?” didn’t help, because James simply didn’t know.
After a few weeks, James finally said, “I just need you to show me how to do this.”
That was Chris’s lightbulb moment. Coaching had its place, but James needed training first. So Chris shifted gears, gave him clear direction and structured learning, and returned to coaching later when James was ready.
The lesson? Coaching isn’t always the right tool. It depends on the situation.
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.” —Sir John Whitmore
What the research tells us
Research from Harvard Business Review shows that leaders who rely only on coaching can slow down productivity when people actually need more direct guidance. The Skill/Will Matrix, developed through the work of Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard, gives leaders a practical way to match their approach to a person’s competence and motivation.
Four situations, four leadership responses
Five practical ways to know when to coach, and when not to
1. Assess the situation
Pause before coaching. Work out whether the person needs skill, confidence, motivation or clarity.
Do this: Use the Skill/Will Matrix before you respond. Ask yourself, “Is this a skill issue, a will issue, or both?”
Ask this: “Have you done this before, or would it help if I walked you through it first?”
2. Match your leadership approach
Once you know what they need, adapt your style. Coach, teach, motivate or direct depending on skill and will.
Do this: Say, “Let’s work out what kind of support would be most useful here: coaching, guidance, training or a clear next step.”
Ask this: “What do you need from me right now: a question, an example, advice, or direction?”
3. Balance coaching with other leadership styles
Coaching is valuable, but don’t make it your only move. Sometimes people need your experience, decision or clarity.
Do this: When someone is stuck because they lack context, say, “Let me share what I’ve seen work before, and then we can talk about how you might apply it.”
Ask this: “Would it be useful if I shared a perspective first, and then asked you what you think?”
4. Train first, coach later
If someone lacks skill, train them first. Once they have the basics, coaching becomes useful.
Do this: Show them what good looks like. Say, “I’ll do the first one with you, then you can try the next one.”
Ask this: “What part of the process still feels unclear?”
5. Recognise when direct guidance is needed
Sometimes people need clear instructions, not reflective questions. Direct does not mean harsh; it means clear.
Do this: Say, “This needs to be completed by Friday, and the standard I’m looking for is this.”
Ask this: “What might get in the way of you delivering this by then?”
If you’re interested in building stronger coaching capability across your leadership team, get in touch and ask about The Coaching Leader program. jessica@intactteams.com